DAILY CARTOON click to enlarge
ANDERTOONS.COM DAILY CARTOONS

Categories

July 2008

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31    

Pages

My Photo

Your email address:


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add to The Free Dictionary

Subscribe in NewsGator Online

Subscribe in Bloglines

Categories

Humor

Counter Think - Biodegradable Plates

Plates

Counter Think - Hickary Farms

Meat Sticks

- contributed by Steven Gibb

The Vegetable Orchestra

"The Vegetable Orchestra” – 6 minute video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfYt7vRHuY

Everybody needs one of these!

Taking your green smoothie to the office - a spoof

Smoothies

It's Tough Leading A Spiritual Life

I was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and almost astral traveled anyway, but the phone rang.

I sensed the negative vibrations so I threw the Ching and checked my numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too blocked, so I did some bioenergetics and self parenting, took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper so I did the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu, Reike, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish, Japanese deep tissue massage, but she flaked out and never returned my call, so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian session at the hot springs but my aura was weak for my trance- channeling group so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session,  but I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk, which was between my tarot card reading and my sensory depivation tank appointment, but after all that I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I went to my personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who really knew what was going on, but that didn't work either, so I locked myself in a calcium coated Orgone Box and went to sleep so I could "get it" in the dream state.

Now you know why most so called healing modalities don’t work. Yes, some of these do present temporary relief but if you have to KEEP doing something over and over to achieve wellness, you are treating the symptom and not the cause. Remember, it’s all about cleansing (fasting) and building (proper nutrition from Gods whole foods).

Total wellness should be and is VERY SIMPLE for the most part!

Turkey Farming

Turkey Farmer

Getting what you ask for

A friend of mine was telling me her flight from Boston to New York was delayed, which meant she missed her connection home to Seattle.

She joined a group of other passengers, all in the same boat, each hoping to book seats on the next flight out.

All of the passengers waited patiently except  for one man who treated the ticket agent very rudely.

"I had an aisle seat reserved and I BETTER get an aisle seat when we get on another plane," he ranted and raved.

A few minutes later the ticket agent announced that there would be room for everyone. "And, sir," she said, addressing the rude fella, "I'm happy to tell you that I was able to get you an aisle seat, sir."

The man, still muttering, picked up his carry on, grabbed his boarding pass, and headed through the door.

The agent then continued, "And I'm also pleased to announce the rest of you will be seated in First Class."

- sent by Sharon Leiss

Bones in the Dishwasher

Our dishwasher isn’t draining, so I was working on it last night, manual in hand. Adagio and Shale were watching interestedly, as I read aloud from the manual to be careful when cleaning the filter as it may contain bits of glass or bones.

The kids were confused about the bones so I explained that most people eat meat, and the bones might end up in the dishwasher.

They were seriously horrified! Their wrinkled-nosed expressions looked as if they were watching the world’s biggest gross-out!

Their reaction is quite interesting. Bones in the dishwasher does sound rather like an anachronistic horror movie, when you think about it. It makes me sure that someday in the future people will look back on this meat-eating era the way we now look at cannibalism.

In Joy!
Jinjee
http://www.TheGardenDiet.com

Thanksgiving turkeys don’t have to be made of meat

Thanksgiving turkeys don’t have to be made of meat: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1796513126.

Fast food comes to Africa - a spoof

Fast Food Comes to Africa
Fast Food Comes to Africa

Sara's gardening tip

1343441_img "When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the  ground easily, it’s a valuable plant."

- Sara Thomson

Then and now - Jason Love's social commentary

Then and now

Cartoon by Jason Love, with thanks to www.RawFamily.com. (click on picture for a larger version)

Bill Maher on healthcare

This is a really intelligent look at the state of our healthcare from comedian Bill Maher. Which means this kind of thinking is entering the mainstream. Very encouraging, funny, and true!  (4 minute video): http://naturalparadigms.com/billmaher.html

Life is rawsome!

Smile! Life is Rawsome!

The evolution of medicine

Complaint: "Doctor, I have an earache..."

Response:
   2000 BC      Here, eat this root.
     100 AD     That root is heathen; say this prayer.
   1850 AD     That Prayer is superstition; drink this potion.
   1940 AD     That potion is snake oil; swallow this pill.
   1980 AD     That pill is ineffective; take this antibiotic.
   2000 AD     That antibiotic is artificial; Here, eat this root and say this prayer!

Cellphone karma

Angel

A short humerous video about inappropriate cell phone usage, submitted by Steven Gibb: chiDiet.com/rsf/Cellphone.wmv. (2 mb)

The dog food diet

Dog I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my Black Lab at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

- thanks to Jan Jenson for sharing this with us!

Sexy B****** Like it Raw

68osteoporosis These two had me laughing out loud at their promo video, "Sexy B****** Like it Raw."

Quote: "Sexy B****** Like it Raw is a sketch comedy meets cooking show; pure mind-blowing entertainment. Our goal is to inspire healthy living by showing the benefits of a healthy life. The word 'health' meaning: mindful of body, mind and soul; play often, laugh everyday, eat whole foods, follow your intuition always, and your mind will naturally be clear, your soul satisfied and your body banging!"

Crude and funny. 3 minutes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTxVYuFJsIY.

How's your hearing?

Flower A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"

The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand 15 feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer and asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands 15 feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?"

He gets no response, so he moves to 10 feet behind her and asks again.

Still no response, so he moves to five feet--still no answer.

Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"

On Laughter

"Laughter prevents hardening of the attitudes."

- Dunc Muncy

Embarrassing, non-harmful medical errors

These are the Embarrassing kind of mistakes that turns a doctor into a plastic surgeon.

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs --- and I was in the wrong one. So I shortly after moved my practice and am now doing Beverly Hills plastic surgery.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, Beverly Hills, CA.

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Who is now practicing plastic surgery in Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg who specializes in cosmetic surgery in Los Angeles, CA.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair who is now performing plastic surgery in San Diego, CA.

Laughing for better heath

Organickids_1 Laughter relaxes blood vessels and increases blood flow -- the exact opposite of what your blood vessels do when you are stressed. In a small study of healthy men and women with normal blood pressure, watching a funny movie increased blood flow by about 22 percent. If funny movies aren't your style, spend time with the people who tickle your funny bone.

Read more: http://www.realage.com/news_features/tip.aspx?v=1&cid=17610.

We're dreaming of a Raw Christmas

We're dreaming of a Raw Christmas
Just like the ones of the past few years!
Where our dear friends mingle
And taste buds tingle -
Our gourmet food will bring you cheers!

We're dreaming of a Raw Christmas
Its a lit-tle diff-er-ent we know!
But there's food with the en-er-gy of Light!!
And you dont even ha-ave to get tight!!!

- by Ann O'Conner

Licensed to Pill

"Licensed to Pill" is a humorous video animation and commentary on a very serious subject - the typical American family medication situation: http://www.cafeoflifepikespeak.com/Videos/Licensed%20To%20Pill.swf.

Yesterday - a parody

Yesterday
All those backups seems a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be.
And there's a milestone hanging over me,
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone away.
I long for yesterday_ay_ay_ay

Yesterday
The need for backup seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

An Arizona biker and his "babe"

Spotted on Bell Road recently:
Arizona Biker and his Babe

McDonald's advertising permeates all

Ronald

In the smoking room

Smoking Room
Painted on the ceiling of the smoker's area.

Foreign drivers - Humor

While I live in backwoods Georgia, speaking engagements take me to all of the big cities of America. I don't know the nationality of the drivers in this Japanese car commercial filmed in Paris, but I wish I saw more of these skills in the States: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3688185030664621355.

- Jim Carey

Indiana Jones does an interview with the press

Archaeologist tired Of unearthing unspeakable ancient evils: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38680.

- Thanks to Helen Terry

On feeling blue...

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Naivete can be life-saving

A fellow was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.  "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.  The next time I see you, you should have lost a least 5 pounds".

When the man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The man nodded... "Yea, but I'll tell ya, I thought I was going to drop dead by the 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping all day."

Raw living foods becomes a fashion show

Corrina Suveges took first place with her Salad Dress. Reminiscent of a celery stalk, this body-hugging evening gown is made of organic-cotton sateen. The bikinilike bust emulates two leaves of radicchio, and the mermaid hemline has layers of wild-greens–shaped panels made from hand-felted, hand-dyed Merino wool and organic-cotton batting: http://www.straight.com/content.cfm?id=19257.

The Golden Arches and the Pearly Gates

"When you see the Golden Arches you are probably on the road to the Pearly Gates." - William Castelli, MD, Director of Framingham Heart Study

The coffee drinker - a spoof

coffee

Baby kittens and the little boy

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. Upon returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.

"How did you know?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied.

"I think it's printed on the bottom."

Hours of mindless entertainment for free

If you've ever played with a Spirograph as a child, you'll be entertained by this interactive flash animation piece: http://www.deviantart.com/view/14080073/.

Soon you'll be able to print your own food

Printablefood As many of you may already know, I love gadgets and occasionally I share tech news I've learned with hope that it'll make your life a little easier and more fun. With that in mind, this latest "innovation" -- a tech-obsessed chef who has developed edible food off a color inkjet printer -- is something I thought many of you would enjoy, especially since it relates to foods. .

A Chicago-based chef, Homaru Cantu, appears